LinkedIn is Getting Bad Again

Viewer discretion advised. This is mostly a rant and I apologize in advance. But hey, sometimes WSO gets a little dry so we gotta spice this up a bit. Love y'all btw.

  1. Recruiters can lick every inch of my ball$ack. Seriously. Dude hit me up, informs me about another opp, I ask a question to see if it's worth my time, and he dodges it asking for a phone call at a time he chose. Dude had the nerve to follow up 5 times, providing the answer to my question on the 4th.

  2. Titles - This shitbitch had the title "Senior Executive Analyst Director" with 3 months experience. Get off LinkedIn and direct yourself to the nearest cliff immediately.

  3. Idiot graduates fresh from college sharing a post of her busty graduation photo and a lengthy list of people she could thank as if she won an Oscar. More disturbing than the post itself - Hundreds of creepy "happily married" men 40+ congratulating her, some even going so far as to offer her an interview. Get your thirsty self off LinkedIn and get yourself an eHarmony on the low if Tinder Senior Edition didn't cut it.

  4. Sales Account Executives I personally knew doing heavy drugs in College trying to be professional….Bro, you just posted a status on FB about how many milf hoes you pulled while LIT at Naughty Club.

  5. Mfers that add a new skill everyday. My dude, you're up to like 134 skills, work in customer service, but have Financial Modeling listed because you once filled out your taxes.

  6. Question Whores. This includes dummies on here. You ask a question, someone answers it perfectly, but you ask 20 more questions and never end saying thank you. My dude.... shut the hell up, take the advice, try to apply it, and move on. We didn't sign up for a damn 200 question Q&A.

Please feel free to add in your unique experiences. Let's get this list cracking.

Mod Note (Andy): top 50 posts of 2017, this one ranks #7 (based on # of silver bananas)

Comments ( 154 )

5y
Blank999 , what's your opinion? Comment below:

I agree, I've found linkedins usefulness to be diminishing. I wish something new would crop up. Or a chrome plugin that basically deletes the homepage haha

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5y
Keyser Söze 123 , what's your opinion? Comment below:

I agree, Linkedin has completely lost it's mojo do to user ignorance and major flaws in the functionality of the site.

My advice: spend less time on Linkedin and more time proof reading :)

"A man can convince anyone he's somebody else, but never himself."
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Best Response
5y
JuicyJuice , what's your opinion? Comment below:

"I agree, Linkedin has completely lost it's mojo do to user ignorance and major flaws in the functionality of the site.

My advice: spend less time on Linkedin and more time proof reading :)"

*its *proofreading is one word

I quoted your post just in case you hit that edit button.

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5y
welshmin , what's your opinion? Comment below:

What if it was satire all along?

Associate at Family Office "Investing is not a game of Possibilities but of Probabilities."
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5y
tutran , what's your opinion? Comment below:

lol

“If you're afraid - don't do it, if you're doing it - don't be afraid!” ― Genghis Khan
5y
heister , what's your opinion? Comment below:

It isn't due to user ignorance, it is due to changing user demographics. It is no longer a group of sophisticated early adopters, it is the natural progression due to dissemination.

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays

Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne

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5y
My Name is Jeff , what's your opinion? Comment below:

This. Loads of old coots on facebook and LinkedIn nowadays. Heck, my grandma is on facebook - she's 78. My grandpa was on facebook, he was 94 when he passed away.

The cool kids sharing cool content are on IG and Snap now (or Raya, for the cooler kids).

GoldenCinderblock: "I keep spending all my money on exotic fish so my armor sucks. Is it possible to romance multiple females? I got with the blue chick so far but I am also interested in the electronic chick and the face mask chick."
5y
PeterMullersKeyboard , what's your opinion? Comment below:
heister:

It isn't due to user ignorance, it is due to changing user demographics . It is no longer a group of sophisticated early adopters, it is the natural progression due to dissemination.

This. Everything starts out well, goes to shit over time. Most of LinkedIn is people looking to meet other people on LinkedIn, people who have largely useless positions that don't add a whole lot of value. Most people of value I've met who are on LinkedIn barely use it now. Even in the last 3 years it's really become useless. It's just like Facebook...nothing much of value happens there anymore.

"When you stop striving for perfection, you might as well be dead."
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5y
vjkdvjidj , what's your opinion? Comment below:

Agree with #3- this girl that graduated from my college last year wrote some long-ass post basically saying how she's not a loser and was finally able to get a job 9 months after graduation. The post itself was maybe 3 paragraphs, but didn't have any substance besides the fact that she kept getting turned down and someone finally gave her a shot. Probably because she was so annoying that no one wanted to hire her. Nevertheless, it got about 7,000 likes and hundreds of comments from random people saying how "inspiring" it was. Give me a break.

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5y
Gratisfaction , what's your opinion? Comment below:

Been seeing this pop up a lot on my feed too. It's almost always international students passive aggressively bitching about how no one will sponsor them for a job. Surely they knew getting into this that an H1B would be hard to get. The appeals for pity are just obnoxious.

Gimme the loot

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5y
My Name is Jeff , what's your opinion? Comment below:

I have a friend who knows a Regional MD at Tinder. I could connect you with her ;).

GoldenCinderblock: "I keep spending all my money on exotic fish so my armor sucks. Is it possible to romance multiple females? I got with the blue chick so far but I am also interested in the electronic chick and the face mask chick."
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5y
snakeoil , what's your opinion? Comment below:
Sil:

LinkedIn was never more than just a directory for me to keep track of those with whom I networked. It offers very little usefulness to anyone outside of recruiters, and 99% of those are sharks who are best avoided.

I'm just curious - how do these recruiters make money? And why would a decent F500 company farm out hiring to a 3rd party?

5y
heister , what's your opinion? Comment below:

They usually just charge a percentage of base salary, it is farmed out because third party recruiters usually have a much larger network of qualified candidates, F500 companies have in-house teams that do this. Farming out this process doesn't really cost the company any money unless an outside group finds the candidate that the company ends up hiring. In that case, the outside agency found a better candidate than the internal teams could so it is really a win for the company.

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays

Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne

5y
DickFuld , what's your opinion? Comment below:

While I've never violated #3 on LinkedIn, I violate in real life every day.

"You blew your nose successfully into the tissue? Stand directly in front of me close enough so I can see down your blouse so I can congratulate you".

5y
virginiaghosttown , what's your opinion? Comment below:

Just add another as to how some people's summary of themselves has nothing to do with themselves and instead has become something to sell their junk.

5y
Thomas Pynchon , what's your opinion? Comment below:

The titles some people use make me want to run into a knife.

Some of my favorites: "Entrepreneur" - aka pyramid scheme pawn "CEO of (insert nonexistent business here)" "Visionary" - are you some type of fucking shaman? Please take me on a vision quest "Motivated Self-Starter" - what does that even mean?

5y
WidespreadPanic90 , what's your opinion? Comment below:

A guy I went to high school with who has a MA from some scam for profit college has the title "MA" after his name on his LinkedIn account. That also makes me want to run into a knife.

"That was basically college for me, just ya know, fuckin' tourin' with Widespread Panic over the USA."

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5y
TippyTop11 , what's your opinion? Comment below:

add "Disruptor" of blank industry to the list

26 Broadway where's your sense of humor?
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5y
TechBanking , what's your opinion? Comment below:
Thomas Pynchon:

The titles some people use make me want to run into a knife.

Some of my favorites:
"Entrepreneur" - aka pyramid scheme pawn
"CEO of (insert nonexistent business here)"
"Visionary" - are you some type of fucking shaman? Please take me on a vision quest
"Motivated Self-Starter" - what does that even mean?

The "Visionary" title is brutal. If you have to call yourself a visionary on Linkedin, I am certain you aren't one.

"Disruptor," "Philosopher," "Connector," "Rule Breaker," "Change Agent," and "Lover of Life" are some other bad ones that I frequently see.

Also, if you work in tech/startups, you get hit up by 5-10 dev outsourcing connections a day. No, I would not like to schedule 15 minutes on Wednesday to see how you can add value or strategically partner with my company.

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5y
tropos , what's your opinion? Comment below:

I may scream if I see the job title of "disrupter" again. You know people use that in their dating profiles now? It's terrible.

********"Babies don't cost money, they MAKE money." - Jerri Blank********
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5y
My Name is Jeff , what's your opinion? Comment below:

Regarding the second one, you may want to stay a bit cautious on that. When we were in college, a couple of friends and I barely had any online presence for our startup (wasn't required, also note the word 'barely'). We made a haul selling the business off. Lost count of the number of people who mistakenly approached our employees thinking they were the owners, or approached my secretary (yes, MY secretary) thinking she was the board member (this happened in Germany - pretty sure it wouldn't have happened in our Texas meetings).

Another example - a top performing hedge-fund that's been occasionally featured in a few journals barely has a website (not even present on LinkedIn), and they have $2 billion in AUM and average 30% annualized returns.

Less talk sometimes (and very rarely too) means more business. Don't learn it the hard way.

GoldenCinderblock: "I keep spending all my money on exotic fish so my armor sucks. Is it possible to romance multiple females? I got with the blue chick so far but I am also interested in the electronic chick and the face mask chick."
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5y
My Name is Jeff , what's your opinion? Comment below:

So dot-com

GoldenCinderblock: "I keep spending all my money on exotic fish so my armor sucks. Is it possible to romance multiple females? I got with the blue chick so far but I am also interested in the electronic chick and the face mask chick."
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5y
WidespreadPanic90 , what's your opinion? Comment below:

I'm canceling my LinkedIn premium membership this month. It offers little to no value. Now people I went to high school with who have irrelevant MBAs from a directional state school can just find me easier. I thought when Microsoft bought out LinkedIn it'd be of use again, I thought wrong thus far.

"That was basically college for me, just ya know, fuckin' tourin' with Widespread Panic over the USA."

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5y
Anonymous Monkey , what's your opinion? Comment below:

Completely agree with #1. I've turned down interviews/jobs with recruiters before due to a lack of interest on my part (it's like pulling teeth, trying to figure out the company's name/industry to see if it's worth your time!). Recently, I had a recruiter call me at 8:00 AM to reprimand me for "turning down such an amazing opportunity" and how the person in the role was going to one of HSW, so I was really missing out. This was under the guise of "we'll follow up with opportunities in your area of interest."

Also on board with #3. I follow a few companies on LinkedIn, thinking I'll get news about potential acquisitions, job openings, etc. And I will -- once I sift through three dozen likes of "inspiring" stories of "what leaders do before ____" and people being unemployed for months on end and how "this is the most driven [they] have ever been!!!!" and how "[they] get knocked down, but [they] get up again, and [the meanies] are never gonna keep TheM down!!!!" By the time I find an article of interest relevant to the aforementioned companies, it's not even worth it.

5y
Fugue , what's your opinion? Comment below:

Most recruiters I've had the pleasure of working with could learn a thing or two about customer service from used car salesmen.

Array

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5y
BobTheBaker , what's your opinion? Comment below:

some recruiter just reached out to me about a job at a fucking call center.... I am an analyst in PWM at a top BB and she thought I'd be interested in a job at a fucking call center.. smh

Array

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5y
GoldDimon , what's your opinion? Comment below:

Something similar happened to me. I was interning at a an M&A firm in NYC and a recruiter reached out to me about a job at a call center / translate center (wtf, right?) in f*cking Malaga since her firm was looking for a dutch-speaking "Sales" guy - I don't speak a word of Dutch.

5y
futures trader man , what's your opinion? Comment below:

Greatest Titles of all time:

LINKEDIN TOP 1% World's Greatest Futurist Analysis Analyst @ x IT Shop Mortgage Loan "Origination Analyst" (lol seriously? You're a community banker you ass hole)

"Well, you know, I was a human being before I became a businessman." -- George Soros
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5y
kayz08 , what's your opinion? Comment below:

LinkedIn is great!!

I've now become numb to rejection.

Absolute truths don't exist... celebrated opinions do.
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5y
CanadianEnergyBanker , what's your opinion? Comment below:

Favourites: "Story-teller" "Disruptor" (typically some liberal arts kid that went to one hackathon) "Serial entrepreneur" {read 3 failed ventures} " CFA Level 1 Candidate" "send your email to get x piece of bullocks information"

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5y
tropos , what's your opinion? Comment below:

I'm on linkedin, but I never, ever post anything. I've noticed that when people post anything, it lingers in my feed for weeks before disappearing. I don't need to do that to anyone. However, it is good for networking to some degree, and I do like being able to see when my colleagues have switched jobs.

********"Babies don't cost money, they MAKE money." - Jerri Blank********
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5y
My Name is Jeff , what's your opinion? Comment below:

This. I feel LinkedIn trying to be more like a Facebook type of social media site has damaged its reputation among the professionals slightly. Old-school pros tend to use LinkedIn more for knowing where their past colleagues aare at, instead of sharing inspirational quotes and stuff - like a substitute for a business card + resume.

LinkedIn should understand that in no way are they going to be able to grab the working-class line worker segment (like Facebook is doing) - they're only going to capture the top 10% wealth group. But if MSFT could translate that demographic well and provide tools for effective collaboration, I don't see why LinkedIn could not be great again. Certification of users is a great way to start off, for instance.

GoldenCinderblock: "I keep spending all my money on exotic fish so my armor sucks. Is it possible to romance multiple females? I got with the blue chick so far but I am also interested in the electronic chick and the face mask chick."
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5y
N0DuckingWay , what's your opinion? Comment below:

I want to punch the people who post "inspirational" stories about leaving their old jobs (usually along with some kind of Oscars thank you speech at the end).

"There's nothing you can do if you're too scared to try." - Nickel Creek
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5y
Fugue , what's your opinion? Comment below:

-Huckster recruiters that you entertain with a conversation, who promptly forget the substance of your conversation and come around again a few months later like "Hi nice to meet you, I have this [same opportunity I already turned down]"

-Huckster recruiters that can't be bothered to proofread the mass mail they send out. You'd think the extra 30 seconds would be worth it to look professional, no?

-Huckster recruiters that graduated in my college class (read: early twenties) with "executive recruiter @ [insert shop here]...glad I'm getting the white glove treatment!

-Huckster recruiters that somehow get your personal phone number and bypass the LinkedIn pleasantries (this happened to a colleague - scary because his number doesn't go on his resume and it can't be found through google)

-Huckster recruiters that can't take no for an answer

-Huckster recruiters that want to dance around the fact that the company they're trying to entice me to leave for is demonstrably worse than the one I'm at.

-Huckster recruiters that say "You'll have to take a pay cut at first but it'll get much better after the first year!" - give me a break, I'm going from 1st rate shop and 1st rate pay to 2nd rate shop AND 2nd rate pay? That's not how it works.

Array

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5y
N0DuckingWay , what's your opinion? Comment below:
Fugue:
-Huckster recruiters that somehow get your personal phone number and bypass the LinkedIn pleasantries (this happened to a colleague - scary because his number doesn't go on his resume and it can't be found through google)

-huckster recruiters that somehow get your work phone number, and do the same thing. That was scary!

"There's nothing you can do if you're too scared to try." - Nickel Creek
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5y
Craig McDermott , what's your opinion? Comment below:

That's happened to me, as well. Recruiters have large networks and will ask someone they know from your current company for your number.

Cheer up, Bateman. What's the matter? No shiatsu this morning?
5y
Fugue , what's your opinion? Comment below:

That actually doesn't surprise me. Your firm probably has a front desk dude, and it's pretty easy to call it and say "hey can you connect me to X"

Array

5y
seville , what's your opinion? Comment below:

You always have those who literally writes a fkn BOOK in their profile. They put all kinds of achievements, awards, work experiences, certificates -- usually not impressive and clearly looks like fillers. And for me to even look at what school they graduated from, I have to scroll down for like 5 minutes. Jesus Christ.

5y
My Name is Jeff , what's your opinion? Comment below:

And it turns out to be a no name school in Fucksville.

GoldenCinderblock: "I keep spending all my money on exotic fish so my armor sucks. Is it possible to romance multiple females? I got with the blue chick so far but I am also interested in the electronic chick and the face mask chick."
5y
the_gekko , what's your opinion? Comment below:

+1! Second half of #3 had me rolling... :)

"I'm talking about liquid. Rich enough to have your own jet. Rich enough not to waste time. Fifty, a hundred million dollars, buddy. A player. Or nothing. " -GG
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5y
welshmin , what's your opinion? Comment below:

Had to google if there was a "Tinder Senior Edition" GOLD

Associate at Family Office "Investing is not a game of Possibilities but of Probabilities."
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5y
My Name is Jeff , what's your opinion? Comment below:

What's just a level above the stuff being discussed on this thread? Aspiring finance kids who put in their real name and LinkedIn profiles on this site. I mean, I could destroy nearly everybody's LinkedIn resumes, and I'm pretty sure every experienced member on this site has done so too mentally.

One of the perks of this site is staying anonymous so that your boss doesn't find out that you're bitching about him, or that you can discuss how your VP caught you while you jerked off to porn. If you want to apply to jobs on the Job Board, don't worry, Patrick's guaranteed that your details are pretty much secure, so stick to that alone.

Show an affinity towards finance in person . Not by actively showing that your life revolved around finance since middle school, on an online forum that's turning into some newspaper tabloid+opinions section.

GoldenCinderblock: "I keep spending all my money on exotic fish so my armor sucks. Is it possible to romance multiple females? I got with the blue chick so far but I am also interested in the electronic chick and the face mask chick."
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5y
AZConq , what's your opinion? Comment below:

At my undergrad school, we see this often with clubs and organizations, even networking events.

"Did you see us on LinkedIn? Facebook? Twitter? Instagram?"

"add our group on Snapchat"

I replied saying I had no idea what a Twitter is, or Instagram. The only reason I got Snapchat was because some hot girl wanted to stay connected on it.

I just recently restarted on LinkedIn. I hated getting added on by creepy people I never met, or getting messages from people about breaking into my company.

5y
FratLord , what's your opinion? Comment below:

Yeah, the only time I go on LinkedIn is to check what frat my summer analysts were in so I can decide whether or not to give them return offers. DKE, hired. SAE, hired. Sig Ep? Fuck out of my office.

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5y
idaho , what's your opinion? Comment below:
<span itemprop=name>MonopolyMoney</span>:

Out of here with that Balanced Man BS

Never thought I'd find a funny frat in-joke on WSO . Was proved significantly wrong

Make Idaho a Semi-Target Again 2016 Not an alumnus of Idaho
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5y
APAE , what's your opinion? Comment below:

This is gold.

I am permanently behind on PMs, it's not personal.

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5y
Mutant_Pig , what's your opinion? Comment below:

So that $26.2 billion dollars splashed by Microsoft on LinkedIn went in the drain? I think the expert section of it still does well. (I am talking about so-called 'Influencers': Jeff Bezos, Richard Branson , etc

5y
My Name is Jeff , what's your opinion? Comment below:

Qatalyst FTW!

GoldenCinderblock: "I keep spending all my money on exotic fish so my armor sucks. Is it possible to romance multiple females? I got with the blue chick so far but I am also interested in the electronic chick and the face mask chick."
5y
Ehmerica , what's your opinion? Comment below:

When exactly was LinkedIn good?

Only two sources I trust, Glenn Beck and singing woodland creatures.
5y
My Name is Jeff , what's your opinion? Comment below:

Hence you're a "wannabe consultant" and not an "actual consultant".

GoldenCinderblock: "I keep spending all my money on exotic fish so my armor sucks. Is it possible to romance multiple females? I got with the blue chick so far but I am also interested in the electronic chick and the face mask chick."
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5y
deepvalue94 , what's your opinion? Comment below:

Get a Chrome app that lets you pull emails directly from someone's Linkedin page, which will make the site somewhat useful. Other than that, LinkedIn is garbage. They really need to consider censoring certain types of posts.

5y
My Name is Jeff , what's your opinion? Comment below:

Contactout guys.

GoldenCinderblock: "I keep spending all my money on exotic fish so my armor sucks. Is it possible to romance multiple females? I got with the blue chick so far but I am also interested in the electronic chick and the face mask chick."
5y
Gangster Putin , what's your opinion? Comment below:

Top 10 jackasses on LinkedIn:

10 Anyone with L.I.O.N. after their name. 9 Salespeople from obscure tech & manufacturing companies cold messaging you about how whatever product they're shilling will change your life. 8 People who upvote everything their boss posts. 7 People who have 200 skills, 15 job positions, and over 9000 certifications before they've graduated college. 6 Entrepreneurs whose entrepreneurial achievements consist of writing inspirational entrepreneurial articles (and are too dumb to make their own blog, where they can at least generate ad revenue.) 5 ANY recruiters. 4 Women who post clearly provocative and unprofessional pictures to grab attention and get interviews. 3 Sham title abusers (CEO, MBA , PhD, Visionary, His Excellency, AVN Newbie of the year, etc.) 2 "Incoming Participant in Goldman Sach's Diversity Networking Event" 1 People

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5y
dracolnyte , what's your opinion? Comment below:
  1. display pictures showing too much skin, then getting a promotion every 6 months until executive title
  2. people who adds the whole world on linkedin
  3. CEO of a 2 man company that you started last week. b!tch please, lower your insecurity and just put founder
  4. People who got canned and write profound sh!t on their profile such as Think outside the box. Dare to be unconventional. Colour outside the lines,
  5. People who write contradicting stuff on their profiles, such as "my philosophy in life is to follow an unconventional path and create my own trail" but then it is followed by "I want to pursue a career in front office capital markets". hmm sounds pretty conventional to me
  6. I shit you knot, there is this guy from my class (non-target in Canada) who was internships , after grad wrote on his profile that hes an IB analyst at a random boutique in NY. 3 years later joins my bank on the technology team (developer, QA, testing etc), got popped after 6 months. Turns out he made up that whole IB thing in NY, the company does not even exist, website/address/phone of previous employer does not check out, wrote himself the reference letter, the references for background check were his friends/family. Later scraps his whole profile and started up his own tech company and you'd think that was the end of his BS ... but you'd be wrong. Did an unpaid 2 month developer role at a start up, then moved to another start up as a developer for 6 months, and now finally landed himself in a consulting job on the 'capital markets' side of another bank because he knows how to game the system; HR only checks your last two employers. Also, to prevent people from questioning gaps on his resume/linkedin, he put his duration with my bank 3x longer than it actually was.
  7. And of course, the 'incoming' crowd

Bonus: under Education, CFA Level I completed, majoring in Capital Markets, minor in Trading

Array
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5y
guggroth93 , what's your opinion? Comment below:

I like when the people who cold call for the high interest loans refer to themselves as bankers, and then post the picture of the Lambo with the license plate "dropout" next to the prius with the Harvard bumper sticker #selfmade

5y
Attack_Chihuahua , what's your opinion? Comment below:

Screw all that. Can we add another bullet for all the "inspiring" motivational speaker crap that people post constantly on LinkedIN? Judging from my feed the only thing wrong with the world is that not enough people are following their dreams and failure just mean so you're actually succeeding.

5y
techjobsyankee , what's your opinion? Comment below:

Correlation between level of narcissism and frequency of profile pic changes.

Been tempted to say hi to a few serious hotties that are 2nd connections but then I realised that may be inappropriate.

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5y
guggroth93 , what's your opinion? Comment below:

I've heard almost every office in AXA has a Wharton executive management certificate hanging on the wall

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5y
xgozax , what's your opinion? Comment below:

top 3 were best. good post.

Let me hear you say, this shit is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S!
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5y
snakeoil , what's your opinion? Comment below:
EnlightenMeLikeVoltaire:

I kid you not, saw a post from some old dude about a prostate exam he had. You can't make this shit up. I mainly use LinkedIn to follow interesting companies, but I can barely follow them with all this Facebook-esque BS that is posted on the reg.

Just un-follow all the people, and follow only the companies.

5y
In The Flesh , what's your opinion? Comment below:

Gotta love those obnoxious, unprofessional recruiters. Message you or call you out of the blue to interrogate you about your salary....come on, man. Email me with this stuff if you've got something.

Metal. Music. Life. www.headofmetal.com
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5y
JuicyJuice , what's your opinion? Comment below:

Just today - Saw someone post about how he doesn't have time for lunch. Yet you had time to write up the story and post it to linkedin around lunchtime.

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5y
dutchduke , what's your opinion? Comment below:

Anytime a semi-attractive female has a profile , it is loaded with testimonials from dudes about how hard working and what great skills they have.

The endorsements for women are always like 50x normal for even the most basic position. Comical

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5y
Isaiah_53_5 💎🙌💎🙌💎 , what's your opinion? Comment below:
dutchduke:
Anytime a semi-attractive female has a profile , it is loaded with testimonials from dudes about how hard working and what great skills they have.

The endorsements for women are always like 50x normal for even the most basic position. Comical

Probably because they ask nicely for them. And they are chicks, so when chicks ask nicely, you do things.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

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5y
dutchduke , what's your opinion? Comment below:
Isaiah_53_5:
dutchduke:
Anytime a semi-attractive female has a profile , it is loaded with testimonials from dudes about how hard working and what great skills they have.

The endorsements for women are always like 50x normal for even the most basic position. Comical

Probably because they ask nicely for them. And they are chicks, so when chicks ask nicely, you do things.

^^^ guy who has written said endorsements

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5y
Steam , what's your opinion? Comment below:

Why the FUCK are people sharing personal photos of their wives/girlfriends/family/vacations on LINKEDIN now? Ask yourself: "Is what I'm sharing helping people, professionally?"

Also pretty tilted at the recruiters who insist on having a phone call directly at 5PM as if that's when I magically free up and all seniors have left the office. I appreciate the service they provide, and a lot of them are immensely helpful, but I just don't understand why they insist on phone calls 24/7 and can't simply provide some basic info on the opportunity beforehand so I can decide if this conversation is worth me hiding under a desk to field their call for.

Array
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5y
RedRage , what's your opinion? Comment below:

LinkedIn has gone to crap and turned itself into Facebook with posts such as "Please keep this professional... inserts conversation screenshot "

Or someone who posts and or replies to number puzzles or questions such as "What comes after 25, 698, 12, 2, __?"

There are many more examples but the funniest comment I heard about LinkedIn is that, "Its eHarmony for the unemployed."

  • 2
5y
Kempff95 , what's your opinion? Comment below:

This is what I don't get about the "incoming X" crowd: LinkedIn lets you put the start date of a new position in the future, so why not just do that instead of saying you're an "incoming" whatever? Also, if your title is " summer analyst " and you post it in March, I don't think anyone will get confused about the fact that you have the offer, and are starting in June. I at least hope these people change their title to "Outgoing X" in their last few weeks.

5y
OkComputer , what's your opinion? Comment below:

How about those people who, instead of listing their job title and company in their headline, list some eclectic and ambiguous group of sector interests and personality traits?

Example: Strategy-Dynamic-Real Estate-Innovation

The Academy Award statement every time some insecure person graduates/changes jobs/gets accepted into business school/etc. really kills me. And I don't trust any of these recruiters and refuse their invitations to connect.

"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt." --Abraham Lincoln
  • 1
5y
reignman18 , what's your opinion? Comment below:

This very well could have been said already but didn't catch it at first glance

  1. "Extern" - job shadowing for an afternoon is not work experience

  2. "Incoming Summer Analyst" - we get it, you want to let everyone know that you will be interning at bank XXX

5y
GoldenCinderblock , what's your opinion? Comment below:

I wrote an article the other day on LnKD aout cost segregation. Also my "n" & "comes after A" keys are roken currently due to alcohol spillage. So you know it's fucked.

heister :

Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

https://arthuxtable.com/
3y
Mytwocents22 , what's your opinion? Comment below:

Cum ea voluptatum et officiis veniam. Maxime quibusdam blanditiis minus sed et commodi minus.

  • Analyst 2 in IB - CB
3y

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Ipsum error est omnis nam dolorum delectus repudiandae. Distinctio dignissimos unde omnis deserunt expedita ea possimus. Velit hic sit aut omnis.

3y
AMInPhase1 , what's your opinion? Comment below:

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Aut incidunt sapiente veniam qui facilis. Sint qui libero molestiae consequuntur. Nemo quibusdam tenetur deserunt.

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Array

2y
DanutsMorks , what's your opinion? Comment below:

Eveniet eius nam quis quia laborum sapiente. Esse nihil exercitationem architecto autem omnis. Delectus ipsam in magni. Dignissimos excepturi vel id voluptas nihil illum et.

Qui sed error dolor molestiae excepturi. Atque molestias qui ad harum maiores. Voluptas est rem in ducimus.

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Maiores et et nihil aliquid quo et occaecati. Ut odio quisquam voluptas qui saepe accusamus consectetur cum.

[Comment removed by mod team]
2y
karypto , what's your opinion? Comment below:

Eveniet occaecati in nemo nostrum. Qui itaque impedit quis facere quis id. Sapiente rerum fugit alias neque omnis. Numquam nam ea nulla. Incidunt odit illum magnam et odit fugit qui.

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Reiciendis rem est eos molestiae possimus. Rem esse tenetur voluptates et. Occaecati doloremque occaecati dolorum. Et fuga architecto mollitia doloribus incidunt. Aut et excepturi laborum voluptas culpa.

2y
Afanasiia , what's your opinion? Comment below:

Ut non optio ut possimus sint. Error nulla ea sed rerum sint voluptatum quae. Error non sed est doloribus culpa. Quisquam qui velit ut ipsam consequuntur.

Corrupti et quia ut aut sit ab. Est assumenda eos eveniet quia incidunt occaecati illo. Commodi consequatur voluptatibus quia incidunt aperiam non atque. Magni error et quaerat voluptas impedit velit.

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1y
dimitriosstricklind1 , what's your opinion? Comment below:

Facere autem sit vel voluptas ut ullam modi. Eum alias fugit beatae vero sint sit qui tempora. Et dolores molestiae et qui modi. Incidunt voluptatum animi maxime labore. Accusantium officiis sit et maiores dignissimos ullam qui.

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Career Advancement Opportunities

March 2023 Investment Banking

  • Lazard Freres ( + + ) 99.5%
  • Jefferies & Company ( ▽01 ) 99.1%
  • Financial Technology Partners ( = = ) 98.6%
  • Lincoln International ( ▽02 ) 98.2%
  • William Blair ( ▲10 ) 97.7%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

March 2023 Investment Banking

  • William Blair ( ▲04 ) 99.5%
  • Canaccord Genuity ( ▲18 ) 99.1%
  • Lincoln International ( ▲09 ) 98.6%
  • Stephens Inc ( ▲10 ) 98.1%
  • Jefferies & Company ( ▲05 ) 97.7%

Professional Growth Opportunities

March 2023 Investment Banking

  • Financial Technology Partners ( ▲11 ) 99.5%
  • Lazard Freres ( ▲14 ) 99.1%
  • Lincoln International ( = = ) 98.6%
  • Jefferies & Company ( ▽03 ) 98.1%
  • William Blair ( ▲01 ) 97.7%

Total Avg Compensation

March 2023 Investment Banking

  • Director/MD (6) $592
  • Vice President (26) $422
  • Associates (140) $260
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (9) $194
  • 1st Year Analyst (260) $171
  • 2nd Year Analyst (84) $170
  • Intern/Summer Associate (43) $164
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (191) $92