Most Badass Intern Story?

One of my friends told me a story of this girl who, the day before Brexit (S&T SA), went out to happy hour with her team, got extremely drunk threw up on their HR manager, and a MD had to take her home. Obviously, she forgot to set her alarm and showed up at 11am on the morning of Brexit .

When I was an analyst, one of our associates had to fly out of state for a bachelor party or some shit the day before Warriors season tix went on sale, which required purchasers to be on site. His intern went down to the box office on a Friday evening to sit in line and grab the tickets.

A guy on my internship got kicked off for admitting to his MD that he did coke over the weekend, got sent to the banks health department before letting him go

Another guy on my internship got kicked off for asking another intern out (she told the manager she felt uncomfortable with him "sexually harassing her") and he went down for it, I know the guy and he's an alright person, think he asked her for a drink twice in the space of one week just she a bit out of order, girls have too much power in these circumstances.

Some other guy on my internship went to the networking happy hour and opened a tab telling everyone they can use it, no surprise people went overboard spending a few grand on his tab, no surprise he couldn't afford his rent and turned up at another interns house asking to move in until his next payment came in.

not an intern but a trading clerk:

while trading in the pit, one of our clerks went to grab all the traders lunch like most days. he got hit by a taxi on his way back (he was not severely injured but was noticeably limping).

he still delivered each trader their lunch in the pit (note that food was not allowed on the CME floor at the time so he had to sneak it past the security guards). hands down best clerk ever

Not sure if this counts but here goes. When I was an intern at a small tech company my sophomore summer, I found such a critical flaw in a piece of code that had been written by a senior developer, he was fired as a result.

I walked in on the CEO taking a shit when I interned at a small tech company. The stall door was unlocked and I didn't hear him. He specifically avoided me the duration of the internship. Yes, very badass.

Smoke show of an intern we had, who was batshit crazy (no surprise here), went out on the city every night. After staying out on yachts with 40 year old divorced bankers/lawyers till 6AM every morning doing all sorts of behavior she'd stroll into the office at 9ish. Since the manager was too busy and also happily married (not wanting to play with fire here, after all) she was left to her own devices. To go along with those DSLs and phat booty this girl had balls of steel. She'd sleep in conference rooms and on the couch in the women's bathroom for hours on end to make up for lost sleep - not that she didn't get enough time under the sheets. There were days she didn't show up to work, most mentionably when she went to Italy with one of these said suits. The best part? She bragged about getting away with murder yet bitched about not getting any responsibility.

She came to a happy hour once and within 15mins of my two buddies showing up she flat out propositioned them for a threesome. Some are just born wild.

When I sat on the lev fin desk, had an intern from a top tier school who was kinda quiet and kept to himself mostly. Work ethic was insane. Never left his desk unless the banker he was supporting told him to grab coffee or some other task that required leaving his desk. Typically stayed way past reasonable intern times. Occasionally was seen shaving/changing ties in the bathroom. A telltale for overnights.

Welp... one month in, HR calls up the MD and says there are 'discrepancies' with his background....

1). Housing: He claimed to live at (side note: I had no idea HR went this deep) a residence and apparently did not live at said residence. HR was positive. OK....a little weird

2). College: Basically didn't show up for his last semester of Freshman year. Obviously bombed all exams/possible dropout

When confronted he said HR was wrong and he could prove it, but he just had to grab the sublease and college transcript from his phone. Cue him standing up, walking out of the office, and 'dead sprinting out of there'--as our MD put it. Desk Admin said he didn't stop when she went, 'is something wrong?'.

I never heard of the kid again. HR and the firm apparently did something, and it was rumor mill city in the intern class.

Not so bad-ass, but--for a banking office--made for a pretty funny story.

"New money" MD, deal heating up, he's forgot his lucky gear.... odds didn't look good on this one pal.

The guy was in a "the deal is the only thing that matters" state. The hero act had a low success rate but well played for finishing the mission.

Hope something good managed to come out of this in the end.

few of my intern class got so drunk one night at the apartment where bank housed them, they carried a couch in the lobby area all the way up to the roof and just threw that couch off the roof....the management company told the HR and they got fired.

New hire on his first day, emailed the entire team and manager that he was going to miss work because he was helping his friend move a couch.

The email was sent at 3:45am...

Needless to say, he has all the time in the world to "move couches" now.

Story happened during my internship in M&A . A team (thankfully not mine) was pitching a company in LatAm. The operation being pitched was quite complex, combining a reverse takeover, buyback considerations and LevFin elements. Now you might know that the currency in Argentina is the Argentine Peso. The intern googled wrong and wrote the first slide using the symbol for the Philippine Peso. The whole team followed suit, copy/pasting the symbol from slide to slide. Nobody saw it, not even the MD, who wasn't a specialist of Latin America and was just here to pitch a subsidiary of a company he had a good relationship with in Europe. Ended up pitching with a book full of Philippine Peso symbols. The prospective client interrupted him at the first slide, basically asking him "wtff?". The story got back to his client in Europe, and, incidentally or not, he didn't win the next RFP with this client. Needless to say, the intern was blacklisted from the bank and every bank the MD had any relationship with.

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My internship last summer I found out one of the girls was dating a VP.

When I was an intern, I worked with this analyst who hated me. He was also in charge of submitting proxy forms (a job he hated) and had a stack of them on his desk. The night before my last day, I chose a few from some of the firm's larger holdings, ran off about 100 copies and taped them all to his desk, computer, and chair with little messages asking him to fill them out. I also hid the pile of forms so he thought I had used those. I let him rip them down and fill out a couple before finally filling him in.

Small thing but it got a laugh from the office....

Our group took the intern class out for drinks the night before the summer class volunteering photo op for the bank to prove it does nice things. Anyway, not one, but two interns missed the bus and had to explain to HR why they were absent for a mandatory event. Oops.

Had some pretty wild stories myself but dont wanna blow my cover. Anyways the interns before me managed to make over 80k in one summer because of a major screw up with payroll or something.

Not that outrageous but buddy of mine during his SA stint a few years ago packed a flask and usually helped himself to a few drinks each late night. Still not sure how he didn't screw up or succumb into actual alcoholism.

One of our male interns managed to sleep with two different analysts (one of whom was in the same group as him) in a span of three weeks. He got the return offer.

My favorite intern back in the day shows up and on his second week on the job, was clearly smarter than most of the first year analysts. I took him under my wing and on week #4 of his internship I was slammed so I gave him some M&A modeling to do on a live deal (risky move as I didn't even ask staffer for permission). The kid fucking knocked it out of the park and came back with a finished product 12 hours later (outputs neatly formatted with only a few minor alignment and color scheme issues). The model itself was 95% correct, and his work was so well organized it only took me an hour to check everything. He even had a separate tab in the Excel file where he pasted screenshots of the specific notes from the filings he was referencing. Needless to say the kid got the offer (I didn't even have to put in a good word, everyone noticed he was a rock star) and he also got promoted to associate after 2 years as an analyst (which was very rare at my BB ). Last I heard he is still in banking and loves every minute of it.

One intern made up some story about having to see his girlfriend whose only in town for one night on Friday at 9pm of a particularly tough week. His analyst said no. The intern proceeded to smash both of his monitors and storm out. He didn't get a return but got a FT offer at a small HF .

I saw an intern at a BB checking in on his first day, and when he was taking his ID out of his wallet, a bag of blow fell out right onto the HR desk. See ya!

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One of the interns was sleeping under his desk when people started showing up in the morning. This wasn't at an IB , this was an AM that is lights off by 6pm in the summer. Kid was still trashed wearing club attire. He didn't finish the program.

Ok this is a story I heard from one of the analysts I interned for, and it was confirmed by multiple sources. So there was this kid that interned at a BB who was a really bright kid, but apparently went WAY overboard for everything he was staffed on (Even by banking standards). He would finish a deck at 12PM and then stay til 5 AM just reading it over a bunch of times and fixing small things that are so unnecessary its ridiculous.

So he was on an A&D deal and it was late and there was one small change left to make (adding a few logos, etc.). Literally a 5 minute change.... TOPS. He insisted that the analyst left and he would take care of the extra changes, and the guy left.

Fast forward to the next morning, the analyst saw that the intern had sent out the draft to the MD three hours later than he had left, but at this point that wasn't too unusual since by then he was familiar the kid's antics. This deck was presented to the CEO / CFO etc. of the company at the bank, so the powerpoint was shown live on the projector behind the MD while he went over the slides. Apparently, when the MD came to a certain slide, all the sudden a logo just FLEW out from the corner of the page, zipped around it wildly and bounced off the sides of the slide, and then the page went into a swirl and transitioned to the next page. The intern had been there so late that he must have had a mental breakdown and accidentally added animation.. apparently the execs all had a good laugh and everything ended up working out.

The kid was yelled at but he ended up killing it towards the end of his internship (when he found the right balance of hard work and remaining sane) and got a return offer.

(redacted for anonymity)

Technically not an internship story because I never got the offer, but here goes...

So, I'm a rising senior at a non-target and desperately need a summer internship . After a bunch of cold calling and emailing, I finally get an interview at a small PE shop an hour from where I'm going to school. I do some research into the firm and am impressed. It's small, but the head guy went to HBS , consistently ranks on those "people under 40" lists, is a featured speaker on CNBC, has a solid fund raised, etc.

My first-round interview is in-person with the COO of the PE shop. I show up 20 minutes early and am trying to find the place. Oh, it's located in a freaking strip mall. I really should have left at this point, but again, I was a desperate non-target kid. I figured I'd just call the place and pretend to be a client trying to find the office. The funny thing is, the guy who picks up the phone has no clue where the office is either. He just goes, "Give me a minute while I pull up Google Maps to see where the place is." Turns out the place was outsourcing their reception to India. WTF.

Anyway, I finally find the place. I open the front door and see no receptionist, no front desk, no lights on, nothing. There are two offices and a lobby, and it looks like no one even works here. There is nothing in this place except two bare desks, a chair, and some strange statue. Out of the second office comes a porky Indian guy. He introduces himself as the COO and invites me into his unlit, unfurnished office for my interview. I really should have just left.

The interview goes well, but I cannot help but pick up on how the COO keeps telling me how this PE shop is one of a kind because even interns are allowed to invest their money (keep this in the back of your mind). During the interview, I gave the COO my availability for the next week, which did not include Monday.

A few hours after the interview, the COO emails me for a final-round interview that Monday. I respond that I cannot come in on Monday and kindly remind him that I had already stated that. He responds by telling me that I'm clearly not interested, have no drive, have no work ethic, and have no business interning at such a fine PE shop. In a strange plot twist, a few weeks later, the founder of the PE shop (the guy I wrote about earlier) emails asking if I was still interested. I politely decline.

A few months pass and a buddy of mine who works in the local FBI field office's white collar crime division texts me to ask if I ever took that internship. I told him that I never got an offer and ask why. Turns out the PE shop's founder was running a Ponzi scheme, except he was pretty bad at it. Instead of using new investments to pay out old investors, he simply refused to pay out anything and used the money to buy houses and cars. The guy is sitting in jail now.

There was a guy in my intern class who fucked our very hot HR intern coordinator after they both got shitfaced at a work event. He still ended up getting a return offer.... Kid was a legend

this is not about interns but still a funny story. Years back I am working as an analyst and towards the end of the two years our whole class was in the process of being evaluated for promotions. Our VP was a younger guy who was the nephew of the CEO. They guy was useless at everything, except at happy hours, he excelled at that. pretty much every Friday night he would take us all out open a tab and let loose the dogs of war. As we get close to the two year mark, people are nervous as not everyone will make the cut. Two of the women in our group, one french one Venezuelan, both very hot, were average performers and no one thought they would make it. The weekend before the VP was due to hand in his final recommendations he took us out as per usual. I left around 2AM and the party was significantly simmering down at this point. When I left the VP was still there and so were 4 other people including the two hotties. The following morning we all had to show up to one of those feed the homeless events (yes on a Saturday, but we all got paid so I didn't care). We show up and the coordinator is taking attendance and three people are missing: the VP and the two aforementioned women. 20 minutes later all 3 arrived in his car, with the women wearing the same clothes as the night before. They later admitted to me that they had a threesome but not before he promised them the promotions. Needless to say on Monday it was announced that they were on the promotion list. I hear the guy is still there now and runs some BS department made just for him while the two ladies have moved on and married since.

In my first PWM office, there was a former intern who showed up his first day and was asked to file. Filed for 2 hours and then went to HR to complain about dust allergies. HR told his manager he couldn't file anymore.

Next day the kid showed up, wrote his name on an index card and put it on an empty office. Opened the WSJ, put his feet on the desk and stayed that way for the day. Spent the rest of the internship doing the same thing.

3 years later I interviewed him for a full time position. I had to keep myself from laughing the whole time. Sad thing was, the kids interview was spot on. If he hadn't blown the internship he definitely would have gotten a job.

A few years back, I was interning at a boutique tech bank. The CEO liked to bark out his emails to his Admin sitting at the desk right outside his office. The Admin would typically leave by 5, but the CEO still needed someone to "tee up emails" for him. I was that lucky intern. When you sit at the Admin's desk you have FULL access to his email and he receives some pretty wild emails from his "buddies". One Thursday night around 7 PM, I'm sitting at the desk and an email pops up with the title "URGENT! I NEED IT NOW!". Usually, I minimize his inbox to give him some type of privacy/avoid these awkward moments, but this time I saw the full email.

"Hey ____, you know how you said you owe me one? Well, I need it NOW. I don't care how it gets here, but it needs to get here in the next 30 minutes before I leave for the weekend. I'm serious, ____. Get it done."

The CEO is a Napoleonic, psychopath that would NEVER allow anyone to talk to him that way .... or so I thought. I kept my head down and waited.... and waited...... and waited until he slowly got up from his desk and walked over to me with two objects, a small wooden box and a key.

"Listen to me very carefully, intern (we had the same first name, but he kept forgetting that). I need you to deliver this box and key to my friend, OK? If you get this to him, you'll be head and shoulders above the other interns in my eyes. To be honest, that's all that really matters."

I told him of course I will do anything for him and I take the items without question. He told me the address and I hop on the next train to cross a certain river. After ten minutes, I realize I am on the campus of a very well known business school. I run into a large building and I tell the security guard watching Netflix why I was there. He jumps up and escorts me to the highest floor and drops me off in front of a large office door. Oh, its the Dean of the entire business school's office. Awesome. I knock on the door and wait for something to happen.

____ opened the door and calmly told me, "Son, office hours are on Monday's from...". "Sir, uhhhh I have your box and key." "HE SENT YOU! WHAT THE HELL WAS HE THINKING! DID YOU LOOK IN IT?!" I told him "No"; I would never do anything like that. He brought me into his office and sat me down. He took the box and key and eyed me suspiciously. "Son, I appreciate you coming all this way. I hope this can stay between the three of us. Is there anything I can do for you?" "Well, uhhhh maybe I'd like to go to business school someday...?" "OF COURSE, let me give you my card and my personal cell phone number." I took the card and schlepped my ass back to the office. The CEO didn't yell at me when I returned so I guess I succeeded.

I have NO idea what was in that box or what that key opened. Drugs? A house key? I had heard about the CEO's mysterious Miami house, but I had no clue. I didn't tell any of the other interns or analysts. I was still shaking by the time I left the office and got home. I told a few friends, but tried to forget the experience. The CEO never brought it up again. I ended up pursuing real estate and left banking for good. I haven't seen the CEO since.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago, I'm at a speaker event and guess who is sitting up on stage? Yes, the Dean. I wait until the event ends and I slowly make my way over to him. Eventually, he sees my face (an insignificant nobody in this room) coming toward him and he looks like he had just seen a ghost. He abruptly ends his conversation with the person next to him and speed walks out of the event.

I still have the card the Dean gave me and I'm hoping someday I'll be able to use it. So I got that going for me, which is nice.

My firm sends all of their interns down to Disney at the end of the internship. A couple of years ago a number of drunk interns decided it would be a good idea to take a piano from the hotel bar and throw it into a lake

It was a hot day and one of our MDs had to get to a fundraiser for some position in the city government. He was late, so he drove the car to his event and then made me drive it back due to the lack of valet and parking options.

... it was a Lamborghini.

Knowing that I would die his indentured servant before paying back any damages, I drove about 5-10 mph in light traffic all the way back to our office garage. I ended up accidentally parking in another MDs spot, thankfully they never mentioned it when they came back from lunch.

This happened to me during a sophomore summer internship at an EB in London.

Thursday nights were a big thing in the office. It was expected that everyone in the front office go out, with some support staff/ back office people occasionally invited along. All in all, about 30 people would leave the office around 8:00pm and head down to a local pub to 'pregame' before heading out to the clubs - basically like a glorified happy hour before a night that would frequently get out of hand.

The thing was, the pub we would go to had an interesting policy. Because we were such regular/good customers, we had a literal firm 'tab' - a fancy piece of plastic/metal that you could show to the bartender and order anything with.

My first week at the firm I go out with the guys to this pub, as is the norm. We all hang out and drink for a while - about 2 hours or so - and I'm trying to split my time getting to know my team better and to network around the bank a bit with people I haven't met yet before the group splits off and either goes clubbing or goes home. Thus far, I didn't really know where the drinks were coming from - analysts and associates were just bringing them out to where we were from the bar pretty much constantly. Then, as some of the middle-level guys who didnt like to party that hard started heading out, an associate from another team comes over, introduces himself to me, hands me the tab, and tells me to put whatever I want on it.

Not wanting to screw anything up, I go over, order myself a pint of Peroni - about £5 - go back to my team, and ask them who I should hand the tab off to. They all start hysterically laughing at me. People are starting to leave, and the policy at the bar - which no one had explained to me - is that whoever is left holding the fancy piece of plastic/metal when the last people leave for the club pays the whole tab. Mind you, this is a tab for 30 bankers, drinking mostly fancy cocktails, at a fancy pub, for 2 hours. Probably an average of 5 or 6 drinks per person, at an average of at least £15 a drink back when the pound was north of $1.50. I dont have nearly enough money in my bank account to pay this off, or nearly enough room on any of my cards.

One of the guys on my team is sympathetic to the situation and tells me to go talk to an SMD who is still around - and mentions that he has picked up the tab a number of times before to go easy on the junior guys.

So I go over to the SMD, and strike up a conversation. After a few minutes of schmoozing, I pull out the tab, and ask him if he has any advice as to what I should do with it. He takes the tab from my hand, looks at me, and says "Ah, this thing. You REALLY don't want to be caught with this thing." And then tucks it into my suit's breast pocket and walks away.

At this point I'm freaking out. The only people left in the bar from my bank are a few analysts from my team, a couple of associates from another team, and this SMD who has just hung me out to dry. So I do the only thing I can think of. I walk up to one of the associates, who is standing near a table, and strike up a conversation. As soon as he looked away for a split second, I snuck the tab out of my pocket, placed it on the table, and made a beeline for the bathroom. Within seconds of making it into a bathroom stall I hear the door violently slam open, and hop on top of the toilet seat so my feet cant be seen/the stall looks empty. The associate starts opening all of the stalls until he gets to mine, which is obviously locked, and starts banging on the door, yelling how he knows I'm in there. I call an uber on my phone, and once the car is outside the pub and the associate has stopped banging, unlock the stall, and beeline out past the associate straight into the uber.

The associate ended up paying the tab. I paid for all of my own Thursday night pre-drinks the rest of the summer to avoid ever having to be in that position again.